To The Doctors I Go

Well today was a big day for me, I finally decided that I needed to bite the bullet and just go to the Dr's and get some help with my anxiety and panic attacks. This is a big thing for me, I don't want to be dependent on anything and I am a bit embarrassed that it has come this far but really I guess the embarrassing thing would have been to deal with it and let it get the best of me.

I am Bi Polar and I have always had issues with that but I can regulate it and have not had an extreme high or low in years. I tend to know what I need to do to keep it in check and I feel like I am doing a great job with it. I took meds as a teenager to keep me on track but after I got pregnant with Emma I stopped taking them and have been fine since. 

Now I have extreme issues with my Thyroid (whole other blog post) and my Dr seems to think that maybe this is what is causing the panic attacks. Now I have always had these but not as often and not as bad. The last few months they have gotten out of hand for me. I finally got to the point that I asked Tyler to make me a drink cause I could not deal with it anymore and needed a way to relax. That is when I finally admitted that I needed some help and I made the appointment the next day. In no way do I want to be dependent on alcohol because that is not going to fix this.

So today was my appointment, I was a bit worried about talking to my Dr about this but I figured I had to do something. He was really nice and we talked about the best treatment plan for me. I told him about my worries of getting addicted to some kind of pills and he explained the best one's for me to take so that does not happen. He ordered an EKG to be sure that I am not having heart problems and that was clear so he went ahead and prescribed some meds for me. He is starting me off low with Paxil 10mg as a daily med taken once a day and Ativan 0.5mg and that is a rescue med to be taken at the start of an attack.

So far so good, I have taken one Paxil and have felt no side effects. I am a bit worried about the Ativan because the side effects are a bit scary but I think it will be ok. I guess time will tell on if these meds will work and if they don't we can always try something else but I feel like I have taken a step in the write direction. The way I look at it, it can only go up from here.